November 9th,
2018
The Strength
to Endure
 |
| Maurice and I celebrating his citizenship interview |
The past
couple months I picked up some part time work while in Boston as a health care
aid. And today I want to highlight the incredible strength of two people –
Banu, the woman I helped care for and secondly Maurice, my Ugandan colleague.
Oftentimes we don’t know the strength that lies within until we are in a
situation that requires the awakening of a deeper part of ourselves. A part of
ourselves that we may not know even exists.
Banu is a
51-year-old woman who used to manage various property businesses across the US
and Turkey and was the President of Alumni at MIT. Three years ago, she
suffered a knee injury and had surgery. Shortly after the surgery, she was
complaining of a pain at the back of her head. Thinking it was merely a
headache, they waited nearly 24 hours before scanning her brain, but it was too
late. A blood clot had formed at the base of her brain and she further endured
a brain aneurysm. She entered a coma and was sustained on life support. Hope
was gone – a mother of two would surely pass. Her family prepared for her
passing and settled on taking her off of life support. Banu’s father would not
let his angel go without a fight – he convinced the family to keep her on life
support and eventually she came out of her coma. At this point, she had no
ability to move anything other than her eyelids and was completely sustained by
machines to keep her body functioning.
After 1
year in the hospital, she was discharged and her father setup hospice care in
their apartment. During her second year (first year being home), her health was
riddled with UTIs and frequent ambulance rides to the hospital. Now in her
third year since the original injury, she no longer frequents the emergency
room. She has regained the ability to move individual fingers and can nearly
walk 20 meters with a walker and next to no support. She is regaining the
ability to speak at about a rate of 1 word every couple seconds.
I have had
the pleasure of seeing her progress these past 2 months. I’ve changed her
diapers, discussed politics and economics, and taken her on drives along the
New England coastline to see the leaves change colors. For nearly 3 years she
has been trapped in her head. She is highly intelligent, loves a cognitive
challenge, and was physically active. She is fully cognitively aware but
struggles to communicate. Every day is a fight for her. A fight to get out of
bed, get washed, dressed, do physical therapy, practice eating, and somehow
still maintain a positive spirit.
Not only
does she focus on what she needs, but she is extremely aware of the needs of
everyone else
around her. She asked me about my dreams and what I’m doing to
follow them. She has had many talks with Maurice (another health care aid
working for her) and fully supports his initiative to better educate himself
and find better opportunities. Last week she took Maurice to New York to see a Broadway
show and celebrate his passing of his citizenship interview.
Now for
Maurice. He comes from a political family in Uganda. He fled Uganda to a nearby
country until he obtained official status to come to the states. Upon obtaining
his green card, he came to the US about 3 years ago. A culture he had only seen
on the TV. A people where everything is perfect right? Where all of the people
are wealthy? Where there are no problems? A country where hunger does not
exist?
He had no
family here. No friends. No one to explain the culture. He took to the streets
of New York and created a family among the streets for himself. Slowly, he
learned what it meant to interact like an American. He learned American phrases,
gestures, and body language. He connected with Ugandans in the East Coast and
eventually a fellow Ugandan was able to help him find legitimate work in
Boston. Now he works for Banu. He dreams of the day where he can hold an
American passport – which should now be fairly soon! He passed his initial
citizenship interview and is in the processing for US Citizenship.
In Uganda,
he studied law and worked as a lawyer for several years. Now he is hopeful he
can one day attend an American university to receive a degree in economics or
politics.
Both Banu
and Maurice demonstrate a strength that we all have within ourselves. Sometimes
we don’t know it’s there until we are thrown into the pits and have to summon a
courage allowing us to act not because of our fear but despite our fears. I’d
like to end with an excerpt from Rudyard Kipling’s ‘Brother Square Toes’- Rewards and Fairies’:
If you can make one
heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start
again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word of your loss;
If you can force your
heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when
there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
May we have the
strength to be kinder and more patient with ourselves. May we have the strength
to accept our own humanity.
With all of my heart,
Daniel
